Many professionals aim to appear approachable and polite in emails, but experts warn that certain habits in written communication could quietly affect how seriously colleagues and managers perceive them. Overuse of exclamation marks, emojis, kisses, and apologetic phrases can create an impression of insecurity or lack of authority, according to etiquette and career coaches.
Careers coach Hannah Salton explains that small linguistic choices can shape workplace perception. “A lot of it is unconscious,” she said. “No one reads an email and thinks ‘oh, they don’t back themselves,’ but over time consistently people-pleasing language can suggest someone is less competent or less confident.”
Excessive punctuation is a common example. People often use multiple exclamation marks to convey enthusiasm or positivity. Women, in particular, use them three times more often than men, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found. Salton attributes this to the tendency for women to be judged more harshly for being direct, leading them to soften their tone. Yet, she cautions, “If it looks fake or like it’s covering up insecurity, it could impact credibility.”
Emojis and other visual cues can also backfire. Etiquette coach William Hanson notes that an emoji can be interpreted differently by different recipients and may even convey an unintended, “infantile” impression. “It would be better if people used words and a good command of English,” he advises. Hanson also discourages signing off with kisses unless it reflects a gesture you would make in person, noting that overly warm closings can affect how senior or capable someone appears.
Softening language through phrases like “just checking” or “hope that’s okay” can similarly dilute authority. Salton says emails containing reassurance checkers or pre-emptive apologies can subtly shape perceptions over time. “As a manager, it’s a difficult balance of being liked and respected, and if you’re not direct, there’s a risk of creating an impression of being less capable,” she said.
To maintain professionalism without losing personality, Salton and Hanson suggest cutting unnecessary qualifiers, pre-emptive apologies, reassurance phrases, exclamation marks, emojis, and overly warm sign-offs. “Showcasing personality at work is not a bad thing,” Salton said. “You don’t want to feel like you have to filter everything, but you shouldn’t use certain words and symbols as a tool to be liked.”
Practical steps include reviewing emails for repeated qualifiers or filler words, paying attention to the tone of messages you receive, and noticing which communication styles feel clear, confident, or excessive. Salton also notes that AI tools can help draft messages and remove unnecessary language without stripping personality from professional correspondence.
As remote and digital communication continues to dominate workplaces, experts stress that small choices in email tone can influence credibility, authority, and even career progression. Thoughtful, direct communication can help employees project confidence while remaining approachable.
